I'm awake earlier than I would normally be on a Christmas day (I blame the jet-lag) and couldn't help but notice that it's snowing. Big, fat flakes, falling hard and fast. I can't tell you how many years I've hoped for this. As a kid, snow on Christmas would have just about made me pee my pants.
This year, however, the Christmas snow comes on the tail of much more snow, and it is already keeping me from seeing some of the ones I love the most today. If it continues, I might not see my dad or my grandma. So instead of dancing around in the snow like an idiot, I'm sitting here, crying, because I perceive it to be ruining my day. Granted, I may shift back to manic at any moment and the dancing will commence.
I shouldn't complain, this I know. Many people, probably many of you, don't get to see their whole family on Christmas. I was lucky enough to land at Sea-Tac in the middle of its frozen hell, greet my parents who made it safely to pick me up, after the trip of a lifetime. Others were/are stuck at the airport for days.
Maybe it's not that I can't see everyone I love that upsets me. Sometimes I think the bittersweet feeling I get every Christmas is more of an indication of how blessed I am. There is so much laughter, so much love in my life (in most arenas) and Christmas so clearly marks the passage of the years and it always makes me a little sad, the nagging feeling that "this cannot last forever". But isn't that just life? Loving what you have while you have it, and making sure every last person you care about knows how you feel?
So to those of you reading this who I will miss today, I love you. I love you so much.
Merry Christmas, everybody! I'm gonna go make a snow angel.
2 weeks ago