Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Rules.

So, as part of my annual New Year, New Me, program, I put in place a set of new dating rules. This was, of course in the glow of January 1, when I made the bold assumption that I would actually be getting dates in 2009.

Somehow, I did get one. A real one. Where he holds doors and pays and honestly doesn't mind if you're five minutes late. He arranged it, called ME (this was rule number one-You deserve to be pursued, so BE PURSUED). Sometime in the days leading up to said date, I realized how much my past experiences figure in to my present attitude. If he said he'd call in the afternoon and hadn't called by 4:30pm, a time which I very strongly consider to be "early evening" I would start preparing myself for the "usual". I prepared to suck it up, and admit that yet another had bitten the dust. I'd give him another hour, and then that'd be it, I'd write him off as another jackass. And every time, the phone would ring about thirty seconds after making this declaration.

At dinner and drinks after the other night, I broke rule #2 and NEVER SHUT UP. I had tried really hard not to talk so damn much. It is so unintentional when I do mind just keeps going, and my mouth generally follows it. I never mean to interrupt people or dominate the conversation, it just happens! I do know I need to work on this. In the middle of dinner, I flat-out admitted that I talk too much. He said he thought it was cute. And although I should learn the shut the fuck up, this exchange led to a rule revision: I need to BE MYSELF. And myself apparently talks too much, but there it is. If your flaws come screaming out of the shoebox under your bed on the first date when you'd rather be perfectly charming till the third (or shit, GET to the third) so be it. It's who you are, and while there is room for improvement for most of us, you might as well get it out of the way.

I didn't make any rules about kissing on the first date. Thank God.

And now the follow-up. I find this part the most terrifying. Why hasn't he called yet? Will he call? Should I call him? Or maybe a nice text message? When is it appropriate for my mood to shift from anticipating to pissed off and rejected? I didn't come up with a rule for this either.

Why didn't I come up with a rule for this?!?!


Kathy said...

I MIGHT send a text just saying thank you for a fun night MAYBE...idk for sure lol but I might... Otherwise, I'd just wait and if he didn't'd be time to move on :(

you DID tell him you talked alot. maybe he's thinking you don't like him bc the girl who talks alot isn't talking to him..

just a thought. good luck! :-D

Jess said...

Good advice...he called this afternoon. Right as I was about to send said text. So yay...we'll see what happens! =)