While I know this affliction applies to women as well, I have noticed lately that men seem to suffer from it the most--the complete and utter lack of ability to control what they say and their reasons for saying it. With that, an open letter:
Please, please, please: Watch your damn mouth. I'm not talking about profanity. In fact, I could not give a shit how often you say "fuck". I refer in this case to your talent as a gender for running your mouth about the future, about relationships, about, well, everything, when your actions do not reflect your words.
Though you do not necessarily return the favor, we are LISTENING TO EVERY DAMN WORD YOU HAVE TO SAY. Every conversation, casual or deep, long or short, sober or drunk, is remembered. Once the words leave your mouth, we hear them, we take them to heart, and we ACCEPT THEM AS TRUTH. So when you say things like....
"I'll call you"
"We should definitely go away for a weekend soon"
"I'm really happy with where our relationship is going"
"Don't worry, I'm here for you"
....WE BELIEVE YOU.
Should we? Maybe not. We should be aware of the fact that you will say damn near anything to get us into bed. But must you, really? And once you've hooked us, and we're dating you, please do not make us believe our relationship is going somewhere when you know it isn't. Don't say the words that make us believe we're safe and it's right when we aren't and it isn't. And when we realize that, we replay every conversation we ever had, trying to pinpoint exactly what we missed. And you know what we come up with? NOTHING. Bottom line--if you don't intend to take us out to dinner, to Vegas, or even call us back, don't tell us you will. If you don't intend to stay with us, don't tell us you will. If our relationship isn't going anywhere, don't tell us it is. And if you don't think we're worth it or don't prove it to us through your actions, for the love of God, do NOT tell us we are.
I PROMISE YOU, we will be better for it. We would rather never hear the words at all than find out the hard way that they weren't true.
Please consider this before you run your mouths some more. Thanks.
5 days ago