So, my parents are trying to sell this place. This requires the house to remain "staged" at all times when no one is home--meaning that I, naturally, am expected to keep my bedroom/bathroom looking like no one lives here.
I know, I'm stifling the laughter too.
Here's what the outside observer sees when looking at my closet:
This is what they would see if they opened the door:
Here's an up-close view. See those poor little weights? Anyone care to guess the last time those were lifted? And when I say lifted, I don't mean lifted as in used in actual exercise, I mean lifted as in MOVED OUT OF THE DAMN WAY AND PUT BACK WHERE THEY BELONG.
It has occurred to me that someone viewing the house may want to see the inside of the closet and open the door. To that end, I took all of the lacy thong underwear and moved it to the back of the pile. I should point out that these are all clean clothes. I guess in my crazed/depressed blur over the past 6 weeks-ish, I've been taking my clean clothes out of the dryer long enough for them to sit on my bed, waiting to be put away. This never gets done, because the room always has to be "presentable" and I haven't found the five minutes it takes to open and close drawers. So, apparently, if you're me, the closet is the new dresser.
I'm sure little changes like cleaning up my mess will make a big difference as I attempt recovery (and, ahem, day 2 of no texting has come and gone). I'm sure you're all wondering, "Well, if it's going to make you feel so much better, why don't you clean the mother-effing closet instead of taking photos of it and posting them on the internet?"
2 hours ago