Wednesday, April 28, 2010

And still I see no changes...

Sorry, had to throw the 2pac tribute in the subject line. Magically enough, in some arenas, I am seeing changes. Or I'm pretty sure I'm going to.

I've decided to slow down my school plan a bit. I still intend to go to nursing school, be a nurse, etc, but I realized last week, in only week 3 of the quarter, that if I am going to take both math and TWO science classes for the next 3 quarters, three things can, and likely will happen:

1. I'll get shitty grades in all 3 classes because I don't have the time or quite frankly, the intelligence to devote to these "technical" classes. I was an ENGLISH major during round one of college, so it's literally been 8-9 years since some of these concepts have even crossed my radar. If I overload myself, the chances of me doing well diminish. And I kind of don't have the option to NOT do well.

2. I'll have little to no social life or break of any kind. Some would say, "suck it up." To them I say, well, suck it. I have way too many wonderful and amazing people/things in my life to forsake them completely, even if it's just temporary.

3. I'll have a complete meltdown as a combined result of #1 and #2.

So there's that. I'm also going to look for another part time job, and schedule my classes online or in the later evenings. I'll be taking less per quarter so this is feasible. I'm getting really and spectacularly tired of being completely broke all the time. If I have to live with my parents, so be it...but when I have to beg my mother for gas money at 24 years of age, it's time to reprioritize a bit.

I just want to DO things. I realized the other day, when forced to sing (literally) at a coffee shop, that I want to pursue this music thing farther than I have. I don't need to be world famous, or even locally famous. I just want the opportunity to get up and be heard. Plus it's sort of free therapy. I also really want a new tattoo. And to go to Vegas. Etc.

In other news, some things NEVER change. I'm learning this, I'm accepting this. I'm hoping this doesn't hurt too much. But that's a blog for another day!


bella beautiful said...

I love you! bahahaha.. really I do.. and all i can say is "gas card".. that way you never have to ask... and its in your mom's name or she pays the bill.. whatever.. works for me!

♥ Kathy said...

I think that's awesome that you know your limits and are willing to change to accommodate them. That's the way to accomplish what you want! Here's my tat :) What do you want to get?

Jess said...

Kara, LOL...I USED to have a gas card and then it expired in January. And I've yet to be issued a replacement...hmmm....

Kathy, I can't get that link to work! Blogger and I are fighting about it...I think my text tattoo will either be an olive branch (they symbolize peace) or something musical...haven't decided yet!

LiLu said...

VEGAS! Do it! May 20th!!!!


Jess said... you think I could pay with a gas card???!!!?