Those I've loved along the way.

For those of you who don't know and haven't already passed judgment on me for it...I love country music. Love it. Anyway, Eric Church is my new favorite artist. He's not too showy or overproduced, and his lyrics are so damn heartbreakingly accurate. His song "Those I've Loved" hits me hard these days. It's about loving, losing, and not trading a minute of it.

And it got me thinking about those that I'VE loved along the way. It's an equally painful and beautiful moment when you realize that loving someone--really truly loving them, is never a mistake. For everything it takes, without fail, it gives back SO MUCH MORE. I think of the people I loved who have passed away--closest to my heart being my Grandpa and Aunt Renee. I miss them, always will, but I wouldn't live the way I do without their influence in my life.

I've lost family members, best friends, lovers. There are one or two people I've loved who fall into more than one category. Best friends that felt like family (and vice versa) and a lover who became a best friend. It's taken me so long to see that the relationships I've lost, and the ones that have changed, or will someday change again....they all have their place. We all walk our own paths, and if we are blessed enough to have someone we love walking beside us, even for a moment--My God, what more can we ask for? And no matter how sad and bitter we might feel when someone leaves us to go where their own path is leading them, how lonely and HARD it is to keep walking without them, we're always better for them having been there at all.

Because as it does, life goes on, and we keep going until we find someone else to walk with--new friends, husbands, wives, our own children. And we love them with every ounce of experience we have to give. That's when it becomes clear that the ones we LOVED were teaching us to love the ones we WILL LOVE. And in that way, and maybe many other ways, we never stop loving them. It's heartbreaking and wonderful all at once, no?

Sigh.