Tuesday, October 14, 2008

On my heart just like a tattoo...

Ok, forgive the Jordin Sparks song reference. But it came on while I was on my way home from the store today and I thought it horribly appropriate.

Did you ever think you were totally over someone? That they'd wreaked so much havoc in your life and you'd finally healed from it all, to the point where they could show up at your doorstep and all you would have to say to them is a firm but polite "fuck off" because you just couldn't handle any more? Good, me too. I've had a few actually, but the most memorable to most of you is he who starts with a J, ends with a "oh my gosh why did I waste almost 3 years of my life on you and your crap?"

Well I'm at Safeway in Bellevue today (the new one, it's SO pretty!) and I'm standing there looking at brown rice sushi, and I swear I saw him getting off the elevator. I had just gotten my eyebrows waxed , had on no makeup, and most importantly, there was simply nowhere to run. The stranger turned his head just slightly and I got the full view of his face. And it wasn't him. Funny thing is, I still just wanted to run away. One glimpse of NOT him, and my heart was in my throat, pounding away. My blood pressure escalated out of control. I'm pretty sure my eyes watered a bit too. AND IT WASN'T EVEN HIM.

Moral of the story, I am a spastic nutcase. Second moral of the story, all that happened in the past was so, so, so for the best. And the least obvious, maybe, is that evidently some scars aren't always visible, but are certainly always there, even if just to remind us that we did the right thing. And I guess that's ok.

I am so going to be late for work now. Oh well.

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