Monday, December 21, 2009

Things I used to believe.

I was at a Christmas party with some family friends tonight. I met a couple of elderly gentlemen, and for awhile I sat quietly (which, by the way, happens rarely, if ever) listening to them talk. The conversation drifted in an out of the present, and it struck me, hard, just how much these people know. Not because they have gone to school and earned degrees. They didn't know things because they read them or heard them, they knew things because they LIVED them. The respect I felt for them was immense. The past year of my life has been epic, truly. I have loved, lost, but more than anything, I have EXPERIENCED. And to think of all that fit into this year, and to think of all the years they have on me...the knowledge stacks up.

But it made me think about all of the things I've learned that books couldn't have taught me, and the things I used to believe, that by choice or circumstance, I don't believe anymore. Here is a selection, some favorites highlighted in bold.

-I used to believe that I was going to be the most popular girl in high school.
-I used to believe that being the most popular girl in high school mattered.
-I used to believe whales could live in Lake Washington.
-I used to believe sex wasn't a big deal.
-I used to believe Sun-in was an appropriate method with which to color my hair.
-I used to believe God wasn't paying attention to me.
-I used to believe I'd meet my husband in college, and we'd get married the summer after graduation.
-I used to believe a lower back tattoo was a good idea.
-I used to believe removing said tattoo would be easy, inexpensive, and relatively painless.
-I used to believe he was the one.
-I used to believe dancing provocatively with my girlfriends and drunkenly making out with them was sexy.
-I used to believe my mom hated my dad after their divorce.
-I used to believe my stepdad wasn't a "real" father.
-I used to believe business was spelled, "Buisness"
-I used to believe Church was boring and unneccessary.
-I used to believe I didn't deserve to be loved.
-I used to believe that parmesan cheese was called, "Farmer John" cheese.
-I used to believe my family was embarassing.
-I used to believe grown-ups knew everything.
-I used to believe my best friends in elementary, middle, and high school would be my bridesmaids.
-I used to believe time wouldn't heal me.
-I used to believe turning 18 made you an adult.
-I used to believe the people I love would never die or go away.
-I used to believe nobody understood me.
-I used to believe dry shaving my legs would be quicker and more effective.
-I used to believe the center part was the right hairstyle for me.
-I used to believe a slice of pizza, in college, was a suitable afternoon snack.
-I used to believe that the things I believed would never, ever change.

This is just to name a few, of course. But thank God for "used to"...thank God for BELIEVING. What did you used to believe?

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