Monday, December 7, 2009

When it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile...

Thank you Rascal Flatts for the cheesy song lyric title.

And thank you God for my friends. They kick so much ass. I couldn't ask for more. My old friends are phenomenal, but the people I've met in the past 6 months especially are so, so incredible. I had no idea I was in need of more friends. I didn't ask for their presence in my life, but there they were, at precisely the right moment. They were the cure I never thought to ask for, but were just the right thing. I had no idea that WOMEN could help put me in the right direction--strong, powerful, sweet, amazing Christian women. Their lives, their hearts have touched mine so deeply. They remind me daily to strive for what is best for me, what I deserve. They remind me when I need that the past is the past--the good and the bad. Especially the bad...I get to leave it behind.

Celebrating the birthday with them was WAY too much fun. We went to karaoke, and between the tequila shots, dancing, and "Like a Virgin" performance, I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard.

It's funny how blah the bar scene seems now in terms of dating. I've met the last several people I've dated (save for the one I met because we worked together) at bars and can't say that method has a great track record with me. The lack of genuine, GOOD people is astounding. It's a whole new level of fun to go out with friends, and simply NOT CARE about meeting guys. Don't get me wrong, I still do my hair and put on my makeup. Not wanting to scrawl my number on napkins or make out with strangers doesn't equate to showing up with greasy hair and sweats. But the pressure to attract someone is gone.

It's so odd to me, to LIKE being single. I would love to be in a relationship, of course. But I don't plan on having sex anytime soon. In fact, I've made the decision to, from here on out, save it for marriage. I know. My mouth drops open every time I say it too. But when I think about the pain and suffering giving it up on the first, second, third, fourth, fifth dates has caused me...yikes. Sex became to me, like the tires on your car. You never really appreciate how important they are until one of them goes flat. I didn't understand what intimacy meant until I misused it and abused it, many times. To many this is crazy talk. Even to me, in many ways, this is crazy talk. I like sex. It was one of my favorite things...hell, it's barely been two months and I miss it already. But this has to happen.

I feel like everything happening right now is serving a purpose. Generally speaking, that purpose is to clear out the cobwebs, so to speak. To address every last messy part of me, to repair it and make it new again...or as new as it can be. Nothing it the same, but everything is looking better, every day.


♥ Kathy said...

I've always believed that there is a difference in 'sex' and 'making love'. I've done both. I won't try to act like I'm some perfect person but from my viewpoint sex is overrated. Making love on the other hand is awesome :)

Jess said...

I agree...I've done that before too, lol, but have decided to make it a requirement from here on out!