The other night, as I often do when I'm sitting in front of the computer, hoping for some kind of inspiration on what to write here, I started reading past posts. And then some more. About two years worth, actually.
Yes, I'm aware that 2 years' worth of posts isn't much when you've been averaging one post per, oh, three months.
I came across the entries in which I celebrated landing my current job. When the newness of the company and what I would be doing seemed so fresh, such a worthy and noble pursuit. And, if I'm being honest, it was. It is. I've been fortunate in my current role to play a part in teaching kids to read. In teaching a teenager who couldn't decode a sentence to LOVE reading. I've been able to impart the gifts of Twilight and The Hunger Games on many, and I'm grateful. But the job is still a job, and aspects of it have tipped the scale from the side of "mostly a blessing" to "mostly a curse." So I laughed and rolled my eyes at the me of two years ago, with her claims of career bliss. But that's not really fair to her, is it? To shake my head at my former self, as though she should have known better, just because I happened to have learned, through frustration, disappointment, and a whole lot of stress, that she was wrong.
She was standing at the beginning of a ride, not knowing that it was going to be the kind that goes too fast and then too slow, upside down and in circles, until you really just want to puke. She couldn't have known how grateful she'd be to be so close to stepping off of it.
Yet here I am. Ready for another transition. I wish I could say, like so many others in the blogs I read (apparently, since I've cut out Facebook, I need a new yardstick upon which to unfavorably compare myself) that I'm transitioning to my dream job, with cool and awesome and highly entertaining coworkers and a fat paycheck and twelve weeks of vacation. That's not going to be it, exactly. However, there will be no shortage of entertainment, and the relief of knowing I can step back, and take a moment to calculate my next step. Career step, that is. I'd like to think that I've got the whole "personal life" thing pretty much locked down. But that is so not the topic of this post.
Point is, I'm trying to avoid chastizing the naive, clueless woman who at this time in 2010,couldn't contain her excitement over the changes in her life. Because truthfully, right now, I'm thankfully to BE that woman, again. Regardless of whether they will be permanent or perfect, there are changes coming. And dammit, that is EXCITING.
Everything that's new is going to get old. Everything. Opening a bag of chips and staring at the contents isn't going to maintain their freshness. Might as well enjoy your Doritos before they get stale, right? And that's exactly what I intend to do.
(By this I mean embrace the newness, not eat chips. Sorry, that was a terrible metaphor. Whatever. Bring on the new.)
2 weeks ago