Tuesday, July 31, 2012

As soon as...Now.

I thought about cleaning my room just now, but thought better of it when I realized I actually, for the first time in some time, have the energy and motivation to open up my computer and get something down on paper. Well, not paper. Whatever you'd call this...get something down on the screen? The interwebs?

Call it what you will, but this space has been long-neglected and gone even longer without some sort of whining making it's way into my (admittedly) self-absorbed babbling. I'm not sure that will change today, but I'd like to put it out there for all to know that I am going to make a concerted effort to whine less. Or, if I must whine, follow it up with what I plan to DO about whatever it is that irks me at the moment.

Recently, Nicole posted about what's (not) holding us back from doing the things we, in some long-censored part of our hearts, long to be doing.

And it got me thinking. Unfortunately, I am somewhat handicapped in my ability to turn thoughts into actions. This realization, as you might infer, led to, wait for it--more thinking. Thinking about what it is that has kept/is keeping me from just effing getting out there and DOING things. Ultimately, it came down to fear. Fear of what? Good question. Failure, maybe? Failure, which is all but guaranteed without so much as a smidge of effort. Or maybe disappointment. Because hiding in my safe little world, making lists of all the things I'll do "As soon as..."

- the weather gets nice (Living in Seattle, this loosely translates to NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS)
-I have the money
- I lose ten twenty pounds
- I get married

...isn't going to disappoint me, right? Holy Crap, everyone. Can we pause for a moment to reflect on the kind of havoc those three words, "as soon as" can wreak on a person's ambitions, their plans, their dreams?

So I've decided, with some encouragement from friends (old, new, and of the internet-only variety) and my best friend (love him) I've removed "as soon as" from a couple of bucket list items.

Come mid-August, RP and I will do something I never ever dreamed I'd actually do. We'll be traipsing around here:

(Glacier National Park)

I'll be wearing these:

With this little ditty on my back:

For roughly five days. Friends, I never fancied myself a backpacker. I can barely get through a workout without wanting to shower. But for five days, I'll be hauling everything I (actually) need on my back, miles out of my comfort zone.

So, all in all, this should be good. I mean, I bought $80 dollar HIKING pants... how could it not be?

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