Your Body is a...Dilapidated Shack.

This morning I was flipping through channels and polishing off the rest of the Costco-sized bag of Pirate's Booty, after finishing the chocolate covered raisins, after spending last night stuffing my face with the same, plus Indian food (and not the good for you kind, the fried and made with tons of heavy cream kind...if the dish is called "Butter Chicken", it's for a reason). I was happily crunching away, despite the emergency level tightness of my jeans last night and the fact that I was literally afraid to get on the scale this morning. So afraid, in fact, I didn't. Anyway, as I was channel surfing, artificial cheese dust covering my pants, I came across a kid's program titled, I shit you not, "Jessica The Hippopotamus".


Coincidence? I think not. So it is with renewed drive (since, what, last week?) that I am pledging to take better care of myself. I should be taking my vitamins daily, not just when the mood strikes. The gym is not an "if there's time" activity, and going to said gym does not entitle me to stop at Taco Bell on the way home. Flossing, too, is not something only overachievers do daily, so it shouldn't surprise me when no one is handing me a lollipop or special prize when I manage to do it twice a week. It is not difficult for me to work out, floss, take a damn Women's One A Day, or not eat like a hog, I just choose to be lazy. This must stop.

*I'd post a "before" picture on here to keep me accountable, but I already post about my man failures here, so I figure the humiliation and ridiculousness has to stop somewhere!

I want my t-shirt!

Well, I worked out today AND didn't eat a bunch of crap. Scooore. Now all I have to do is do this repeatedly, as in, more than like 4 consecutive days and perhaps some results will be visible. I've been meaning to look into running a 5K, and then maybe working my way up to a 10K. I can, if the mood is right, bust out 3.1 miles on ye olde treadmill. I find this especially doable at the gym, as I tend to run better and longer when people are watching. Vanity can be such a catalyst sometimes. Okay, all the time.

I'm proud of myself in that I've reached a point where 3.1 miles doesn't seem scary. In fact, it's somewhere between "easy enough" and routine. But as I've realized, there is a huge huge huge different between the treadmill and running on regular sidewalks/terrain. The cement is harder, the ground is uneven, the air is colder, the incline is all over the place. I find myself exhausted way sooner than I would be at the gym. Plus I seemed to have lost my armband for my iPod AND my pedometer, both of which I would need without my trusty treadmill. Going to have to procure these things, I think, because the "I ran a 5K" thing doesn't sound nearly as good when you ran it in your gym while watching reruns of "Las Vegas" on TNT. And you don't get the free t-shirt.

I'm going to have to work on this.

In other news, I'm feeling a little better. Some much needed home/family/gym/church/mall time has calmed me down a bit. Under my right eye, there is a muscle that has been visibly twitching--or more like fluttering?--for four days now. It looks like a heartbeat under my eye, and is creepy and horrible, and according to the doctor, caused by stress.

Her recommendation: Be less stressed!

Thanks, I'll work on that. Step one...I left my phone in my car earlier tonight by accident. And didn't go get it. No sense compulsively checking the damn thing for the messages I know won't come, right? For those of you who might actually be attempting to contact me...Whoops. I'll get back to you tomorrow, I suppose...

Long as I can see the light...

Meh.

Let's see, Wednesday. Happy Hump Day! Ok, hardly. Work at the preschool was challenging today. One of our kids screamed from the moment his mother left to, more or less, the moment she picked him up. There were brief periods of rest, but he would always come back with renewed vigor. The first tantrum of this degree--stomping of the feet, throwing of self on the floor, etc, I've seen in awhile. That wasn't my own, of course. But the rest of the kids were adorable, as usual. It's tricky, knowing I'm not going to be able to finsh out the year with them, trying not to get too attached to any of them. Actually, it's impossible. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like there's something about kids, especially that age. They just get to you, in the most incredible ways. It never takes long before the thought of not having them in your life seems unfathomable. Hrmm. Let's talk about something else.

Had dinner at work tonight...a certain "friend" stopped by our table, introducing himself to my MOTHER. Luckily, she was not yet smashed and didn't say anything completely inappropriate. Although at this point, I probably wouldn't have cared. He's not the only male who irritated me tonight, turns out. The latest disappointment is in rare form as well. Ah well. Hopefully he'll be the last. Disappointment, that is.

Speaking of, Lindsay and I went to an event at church. One of the speakers was phenomenal. She was hilarious, yet 90% of what she said had that, "Yes, Jessica, I'm speaking to you" vibe. I could quote the woman all day, but one thing she said that stuck out was that women tend to take compliments as REVELATIONS, rather than AFFIRMATIONS. For me, this has tended to be true. When a guy says, "You're beautiful", my honest response tends to be (cue starry eyes and disabled brain) " I am? Really?" My reaction should be more along the lines of, "Yes, I am. Thank you." Something to think about.

Speaking of self-confidence and the like, I have decided that at the age of 23, when my metabolism is still fairly quick and my body is at its most capable, there is really no reason for me not to take better care of it. I don't need a six-pack. Nor do I even want one, really. BUT, I might as well be in good shape while its relatively easy to do so. I just need to get a grip and stop eating so much crap. Easier said that done, but I think if I remind myself how much better I feel when I'm not akin to a beached whale, sitting on my couch with a gallon of soda and empty fast food containers strewn about. Not that that's happened recently or anything. Especially not last sunday. And yes, I did make a blog category for "fitness". No shame, I know.

On a lighter note, and to coincide with my subject line up there, I got to talk to Jaimee Rose not once but TWICE today. And things are already looking up a bit. Love you dude, feel better!