Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I promise I'll think of something else to post soon. But not today, and not tomorrow.

I thought for a minute we might have a chance. Thought if we just talked, touched, it would all turn out okay. It didn't. He is not changing his mind, and no begging or pleading is going to remedy that. I can't lie, I am still desperately hoping in a few days he'll miss me, miss us, and reconsider. But I don't think so.

He didn't walk me to the door. For the first time ever. Not a hug, nothing. The look on his face just haunts me. I'd more than worn out my welcome with my begging for another shot, but I just couldn't let it go. Still can't. I made it to the lobby and out the door. It was pouring, and I was truly tempted to just sit down on the pavement and break down there. Instead found myself in the car, again. Once I peeled myself off the steering wheel I wrote him a letter. I do think I'll give it to him, but in a couple of days. I don't know what I expect it to, but whatever.

Maybe he was right and it wouldn't have been the same. Maybe it just wasn't right from the start. Then again, maybe it was.

2 comments:

♥ Kathy said...

You take as long as you need

Healthy Hunter said...

My heart goes out to you...I know it must be really tough. Take some time for yourself and eat as much ice cream and as many brownies as you need :) If all else fails, get in your car, go to one of your favorite "me" spots, and scream/yell everything out at the top of your lungs. Crazy, but it works.