I promise I'll think of something else to post soon. But not today, and not tomorrow.

I thought for a minute we might have a chance. Thought if we just talked, touched, it would all turn out okay. It didn't. He is not changing his mind, and no begging or pleading is going to remedy that. I can't lie, I am still desperately hoping in a few days he'll miss me, miss us, and reconsider. But I don't think so.

He didn't walk me to the door. For the first time ever. Not a hug, nothing. The look on his face just haunts me. I'd more than worn out my welcome with my begging for another shot, but I just couldn't let it go. Still can't. I made it to the lobby and out the door. It was pouring, and I was truly tempted to just sit down on the pavement and break down there. Instead found myself in the car, again. Once I peeled myself off the steering wheel I wrote him a letter. I do think I'll give it to him, but in a couple of days. I don't know what I expect it to, but whatever.

Maybe he was right and it wouldn't have been the same. Maybe it just wasn't right from the start. Then again, maybe it was.