Surfin' USA

I had the most ridiculous dream last night. In order to follow this dream, you must accept the following as "fact": 1. The Olympics now occur on odd years and in the spring, and 2. Surfing, as in, you know, riding waves on a board with a fin, is an Olympic sport.

In the dream, I was having lunch with my parents, and suddenly decided that I simply MUST compete in the Olympic Surfing competition that was to take place that day. And they were both like, "Okay!" No one stopped to consider that usually one does not just show up and pay a $5 participation fee to compete in the OLYMPICS, nor that I personally have never ever even attempted to surf. Ever. I think I've been on boogie boards a few times, maybe. My primary beach sport is body surfing, and I can tell you without reservation that I lack the talent to do so without losing my bathing suit top and/or dignity.

So after we had established that I, Jessica Reid, was going to be an Olympic athlete, we stopped at some surf shop and picked out a board. No one measured me, asked me my height, or anything. I just walked in, said, "Oooh, that one looks good!" and left. At no point during all of this did I stop to think, "I don't know what I'm doing at all" or "I could really hurt or embarass myself". I was absolutely confident that I was going to effortlessly paddle out with the other contestants, and just, you know, figure it out!

The dream concluded with me arriving at the beach and realizing that since the competition was being held on the Washington Coast in March, I was going to need a wetsuit. And I didn't have one. My mom noted that registration ended in fifteen minutes, and there would be no time to purchase a wetsuit for my Olympic debut. As we got out of the car, I let out a defeated sigh, watching the spectators gather for what should have been MY event. "Oh well...next time", I said, and then suggested we all go for a hot dog at that stand over there.

I don't know what this dream meant, not even a clue. Do I take up surfing? Or perhaps some other sport? Am I certifiably insane? Do I need a beach vacation or maybe just a hot dog? Yeah, that's probably it.