Sunday, April 5, 2009


Pardon my French, but OH. HOLY. SHIT.

So, for the past month or so, I have avoided the scale. And when I say avoided, I mean I didn't even know where it WAS until yesterday. After looking through the pictures of me last night at my friend Kelly's birthday get-together, I couldn't help but notice my face especially was looking dangerously close to the way it did when I gained all of my freshman year weight. When I recalled how quickly I put that weight on and how long it took me to take it off, I decided it was time to face the music, so I stepped on the scale.

I actually screamed a little. The initial panic has subsided a little when I stopped to remember a few things:

1. For numerous reasons, I have been drinking WAY more than usual over the past week. Last weekend I drank every single night-Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Went out to dinner on Tuesday-THREE mojitos. On a Tuesday! Went out this Thursday, drank some more. Went out Friday, ate piles of food and drank some more. I promise, I'm not an alcoholic.

2. I work out on a fairly regular basis in comparison to freshman year, and have been doing a little more strength training over the past month. My clothes fit snugly but FIT, which suggests already that some of this weight gain can be attributed to an increase in muscle mass.

Bottom line, though, I feel fat. I feel like I look fat. Apparently I have the Jessica Simpson complex in that when I'm happy, I put on weight. Yikes. And while yes, I am very happy with the way things are going, I can't say I'm happy with the way I'm treating my body. So today the detox begins. I leave for AZ in five days, and would be lying if I said I thought I'd be able to keep a strict diet while I'm there. I will likely do some walking/running when I can, but as far as food will be tricky. So until then, I'm pulling my favorite crash diet out of retirement: Going low carb, friends! I'll make a few exceptions here and there (fruits are allowed, for example) because my body just won't function otherwise, and I'll end up on the floor of my kitchen at 4am, covered in flour, mumbling about how the bakery wouldn't let me in and Pizza Hut won't deliver this late. Yes, I am a very cranky low-carb dieter. But I can't afford a new wardrobe and feel disgusting, so something's gotta give. I just hate that feeling that I've let things get out of control, so it will take a few very disciplined, very non-alcoholic days to feel like I have a handle on it again.

That said, I believe spring is creeping into the Northwest. It is absolutely beautiful today. If I'm going to be cranky all week, might as well get some vitamin D in when I can.

1 comment:

♥ Kathy said...

you are too cute :) I bet 'fat' is an overstatement too...we're always harder on ourselves